Different Roles, Same Roots
The Rain Is Doing More Than You Think
If you live in Georgia, you know the weather has been hard to predict lately. We've had days that begin with sunshine and end with thunderstorms. Days where dark clouds roll in, thunder shakes the windows, and then an hour later you would never know the storm happened at all.
Lately, I've found myself thinking that growth often works the same way.
Growth Doesn't Come in Neat Seasons
Most of us expect growth to happen in neat, predictable seasons. A season of struggle. A season of healing. A season of clarity. A season of confidence. But life rarely works that way. More often, we experience all of it at once: confidence and doubt, progress and frustration, clarity and confusion, sunshine and storms, sometimes all in the same day.
The older I get, the more I realize that growth isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to pay attention to what the storm might be revealing.
Following the Thread
Over the past year, I've been following a thread. At first, I thought it was leading me deeper into leadership work. Not leadership in the traditional sense, not communication strategies, executive presence, or organizational effectiveness, but something deeper. Inner leadership. The ability to understand yourself well enough to lead your self and others with greater awareness and intention.
As I worked with leaders, parents, couples, and individuals, I began noticing something interesting. The challenges showing up in one area of life were often the same challenges showing up everywhere else. The executive who struggled to delegate at work struggled to let go of control at home. The leader who felt responsible for everyone on their team often felt responsible for everyone around them. The person who measured their worth through achievement carried that same pressure into every role they occupied. The individual who had difficulty setting boundaries at work often struggled to set them with family, friends, or partners.
Different environments. Same patterns.
So I kept following the thread. It led me into conversations about parenting. It led me into conversations about relationships. It led me into conversations about identity, burnout, purpose, and personal growth. And the more I paid attention, the clearer something became: these weren't separate conversations. They were different expressions of the same conversation.
Because the ways we relate to responsibility, achievement, control, rest, boundaries, and worth don't suddenly change when we move from one role to another. We bring ourselves with us wherever we go. The patterns that show up in a boardroom often show up around a dinner table. The stories that shape us as leaders often shape us as parents, partners, friends, and caregivers.
Different roles. Same roots.
Over time, that pattern became impossible to ignore. What I was seeing wasn't a leadership issue, a parenting issue, or a relationship issue. It was something deeper. The roots beneath all of them.
Inner Work vs. Root Work
For years, I've used the phrase inner work, and I still love it. But lately, I've found myself reaching for a different phrase: root work. Because root work shifts our attention beneath the surface. It asks us to become curious about the beliefs, fears, identities, expectations, and survival strategies that quietly shape how we move through the world.
Instead of asking, how do I change this behavior?, it asks, what created this behavior in the first place? Instead of asking, how do I become more patient?, it asks, what gets activated in me when things feel out of control? Instead of asking, how do I stop overfunctioning?, it asks, when did I learn that carrying everything was my responsibility?
Root work is less interested in the branches. It's interested in the root system, because the quality of what grows above ground will always be influenced by the health of what exists below it.
Why the Body Knows Before the Mind Does
I think this is especially true for people who have spent much of their lives relying on competence, achievement, and productivity to navigate the world. Many of us have learned to trust our minds above all else. Analyze it. Figure it out. Solve it. Push through it. Stay productive. Keep moving. Those skills serve us well, until they don't.
Because eventually we reach a point where the answers we're looking for cannot be found by thinking harder. The next step is not another strategy. It's not another planner. It's not another productivity system. It's a deeper understanding of ourselves. And that understanding rarely begins in the mind. It begins in the body.
The body often knows long before the mind is willing to admit it. It's the tightness in your chest when you're about to agree to something you don't actually want to do. It's the exhaustion that settles in after another day spent managing everyone else's needs while ignoring your own. It's the knot in your stomach before a conversation you've been avoiding. It's the tears that appear unexpectedly when someone finally asks how you're really doing.
Long before we can explain what is happening, our bodies are often communicating what our minds are still trying to rationalize. That is why root work is not something we think our way through. It's something we learn to listen for. And often, the body is where the roots first reveal themselves.
What the Storms Are Actually Revealing
As I've watched these passing storms move through Georgia this summer, I've noticed something. The weather may feel unpredictable, but the rain is still accomplishing something. Even when it arrives unexpectedly. Even when it interrupts our plans. Even when it disappears as quickly as it came. The soil receives what it needs. The roots are nourished. Something important is happening beneath the surface, whether we can see it or not.
Maybe that's what these seasons are doing in our lives. Not stopping us. Not punishing us. Not delaying us. Simply reaching places that haven't been nourished in a very long time. The places beneath the surface. The places we've been too busy to explore. The places where real transformation begins. The roots.
And maybe that's the thread I've been following all along. Not leadership. Not parenting. Not personal growth. But the deeper work beneath all three: the work of understanding ourselves well enough to lead our lives with greater awareness, intention, and connection.
Different roles. Same roots.
Reflection
As you move through the week, consider:
What role do you spend the most time focused on: leader, parent, partner, caregiver, achiever?
What patterns show up consistently, regardless of the role you're in?
What might those patterns be trying to teach you?
Where in your life are you looking for a solution above ground when the invitation may be beneath the surface?
What would it look like to get curious about your roots instead of trying to fix the branches?
